Friday, November 13, 2015

I am.

I aint those girls that...

Girly enough as they said as 'perempuan melayu terakhir'.
Put those heavy makeup on layered by layered.
Dress up pretty for all the time.
Wear heels because flops are much more instyle.

Because i am what i am.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Self reflect.

You were born in a first class hospital, I was delivered at home, we both survived.
You went to a private primary school and I went to a public school, we both ended in the same high school.
You woke up from the bed and I woke from the floor, we both had a peaceful night rest.
Your outfits are all expensive, mine are all simple and cheap, we both still cover our nakedness.
You ate fried rice and roasted chicken, I ate local made food but we both still ate to our satisfaction.
You ride on Lexus jeep, Range Rover, G Wagon, Hummer Jeep and I use public transport but we still got to our various destination.
You may be reading this post from your Sony xperia, BB Z10, Q10, Samsung Galaxy 6edge, IPhone6+ and I typed it with my Touch one broken screen, we still see the message.
Lifestyle is not a competition and there are different ways to get a lot of things done, different lanes all leading to the same destination. Just because your neighbour is doing things faster does not mean you are failing.
Happiness doesn't come from having everything, but making the best out of what you have, it's all about how you see yourself.
Happiness is not having what you like. Happiness is liking what you have and being content.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Confession of the heart - save me.

Hi dear blog.

Its been awhile. I never have the time, or idea on what to write here. But i guess i need to break through that. I need to write. I need to let go. 

Its only been like a month that my semester has started, but it feels like its been a year with all the assignments and the works that needed to be completed. I am seriously exhausted - exhausted in staying up late at night only to finish all the works, tired of not being able to sleep at all, and whats worst is this dark circle around my eyes for not having much sleep. 

It is because it the final year that students get too much of work loads to be done? Because as i remember my Diploma years, final semester ain't this busy. But i guess its different, the Diploma and Degree years - different indeed. For example, this whole year i need to prepare for my thesis proposal and then starts to process the data and progress the model of my thesis project. I don't know whether i am able to finish it within this one whole year, because i know myself. I'm not this super hardworking person and all that, i cant even do works during day time because i always feel sleepy during the day compared to the night. But then, if i stay up late night, i would get another dark circle till my eyes would look like panda's eyes. Then i have this one subject, that all the work progress must be recorded and be submitted along with the report. Let me say this again - WORK PROGRESS MUST BE RECORDED AND BE SUBMITTED WITH THE REPORT. Hehh.

I missed my long and beauty sleep, for that I have been called as Sleeping Beauty. Why? Because i can sleep for 18hours max - and sometimes more. But now all i get is 2-4 hours of sleep, a day, for almost everyday, every weeks, every months. Okay i'm exaggerating, its only been a month though. But even so, only in a month, that my semester started, i already have less time to sleep. I wonder what would happened at the end of the semester. Can i even had a sleep at all?

And also, i miss my large and big appetite. I usually eat for at least 3 times a day, or normally 4 times a day before and i ate heavily. But now, i can only eat twice a day, or only having meals for lunch and thats all what i needed to survive in a day. Now i feel thinner, and feels like i needed few more new jeans since the jeans i had doesn't fit on me any more - at least not without the belt.

Maybe i am homesick. Maybe i just misses my mom, dad, friends. Maybe i am too stressed that i hardly can manage myself. Maybe i am too busy in completing my works. Maybe i need to get out, and loosen myself from the stressful life. Sadly, maybe, i don't even have time for that.

So anyone, could you save me?