Break free.

Life has been hard once you starts being an adult. Like you have so much of responsibilities to held, a life to live, a relationship to maintain and a career to build. And sometimes, it is so hard to hold on to yourself that you needed someone to lift all the burdens up. But in doing so, as i said earlier, a relationship to maintain.

All the bad choices, the mistakes, guilt, fight and breakup, failure, and for that, you always feel like you want to quit on everything, run away and break free. But there's nothing that could save yourself other you. YOU make it happen by facing it rather than running away from it. Be strong dear self, and keep on telling yourself that. You'll get tired, you'll cried yourself, you'll worn out, but that's the real meaning in living. You'll change, you'll grow, but never ever forget who you are before. If its change you to a better person from your past, then just go for it. But if doesn't, stop. You need to take a break and head for a new path, hopefully the right path.

Restructure your life back again, don't take those who loves you for-granted, don't wary yourself out in doing things that you don't like (or hate), and please, be patient. Things don't just happen with a blink of an eye, it takes time. It'll fall into places, someday, and hopefully soon. Break free from those thoughts that weakening you, and pulling you down.

It is a lot to take in, and the truth is, life never get easy, but have faith that it will soon work out for you, or anyone else for that matter.

REBOOT

Book review : UNITED AS ONE

United as One -  the seventh and the final book. I just thought that i need to blog about this but then i forgot that i did not blog about The Fate of Ten after The Revenge of Seven (just click on link then it will bring you straight to the Revenge of Seven review). Though, i will include some of the important details of the sixth book here - for what that i remember, if i do remember.

Okay, first thing first, it started with a girl named Daniela, who developed legacies as Sam did in the previous book, and she kinda save the day fighting those Mogs - that somehow she found Sam and John, the three of them traveled together, fighting side to side (as i remembered). The three of them also met, or be found by agent Walker, which now worked with whatever-the-called-the-government-association-name was in fighting the Mogs. The government are trying to defeat those garde in winning their battle against Setrakus Ra, altogether with the new developed human-garde (they called the unit of human-garde as LANE - which i still don't remember what stand for what). I don't remember where exactly Nine was, but i am sure that he has beat the crap out of Five during their fight on whatever and whatever. Five finally being held hostage.

While the others (Six, Marina, Adam, Sarah, Mark) went to the sanctuary, throwing all the Lorien stone altogether into the sanctuary well (i guess), with Seven too. And somehow Eight re-alive, for a moment saying his goodbye to Marina. They managed to rescue Ella, as Setrakus Ra ship goes to the sanctuary to took whatever power of the Lorien that grows in the sanctuary. Though, there was a huge fight between the Mogs and the garde with their human friends. Marina was deeply injured by Setrakus Ra, with broken bones and all that. Six went mad and tried to kill Setrakus Ra, but failed. But she did hurt him, she strikes blade into his chest, and almost got his heart. But she wasn't lucky enough. Sadly, Sarah did not make it alive. She got hurt, got blood all over her body while rescuing, or helping Six during her fight with Setrakus Ra, but with Marina unconscious, no one can ever help her. So the book ends with the last goodbye of Sarah to John.

 

John was all sad, and very determine to end the war soon. He wanted to defeat Setrakus Ra so badly that he goes all out. Since he had a Ximic, a legacies in copying other legacies/powers, John try to learn on every other power that the garde have. He already developed invisibility from Six and healing from Marina, next he needed to learn to fly by Five, telepathy by Ella and laser-eye-turn-to-stone power of Daniela to defeat Setrakus Ra. He was so determine and went all out during their (John, Six, Adam) hijacked mission of the Mogs war ship. Also, they met Rex, another true born that helps the garde in defeating Setrakus Ra.

Other than that, they managed to find another human-garde - Rigel, Fleur, Ran and another one is the fat-boy-who-can-control-bees-which-i-dont-remember-what-his-name-was. There was so much of conflicts, with the humans that hardly to trust the good Mogs (Adam and Rex, including Nine - for not trusting Rex much),  the garde to trust the well being of the human-garde under the provision of the government (as they might use those human-garde as an asset for military use),  the tension between Mark and John for the death of Sarah, and obviously the self conflict of John for the loss of his love that he want to kill Setrakus Ra by himself without letting the other garde be killed or get hurt, the relationship between Six and Sam, and Ella to the garde and also her great great grandfather - Ra himself.

It is full of tension and excitement, more death, more blood are shed. It is confusing, scary, heart threatening. It is also sad, especially to see few characters died, including the chimaera (and it was Dust, Adam's favorite and also mine - i think i might after this, remembering Dust and Adam). And i was so afraid that more people would die during the last fight, because actually the garde are all by themselves (John, Six, Marina, Nine, Adam, Ella and surprisingly Five) without the help of the human-garde except for Sam, Bk, Dust, Lexa and Rex. They went on the fight just with a few numbers of them, and some might die, get hurt, or losses their body part. But they finally win, well obviously they have to win, no one on earth would want an unhappy ending with the garde lost and Ra wins. NOBODY EVER WANTED THAT. So it is pretty much logic that the garde wins, with the sacrifice of this and that. Though, no one can ever helps to heal the wound from a broken heart. Sarah is still dead, and there is no way for her to be alive. John was right, they may developed powers, legacies, but the garde do not have the power of God in bringing someone's dead to life.

A year has passed after the fight, and everyone seems to have their own life in their own way. Some are alone, some have the company of others. But they are always be united - United as One.

Book review : I WAS HERE.

 I regret to inform you that I have had to take my own life. This decision has been a long time coming, and was mine alone to make. I know it will cause you pain, and for that I am sorry, but please know that I needed to end my own pain. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. Its not your fault.

Meg

 

The beginning of the story starts as the Cody, the heroin of this book read a letter (by email) that Meg, her best friend sent to her. 

The real deal starts when Cody leaves to Tacoma, only to pack up Meg's stuff in her dorm at the campus. But there, she met Alice, Richard, Harry and Ben - Ben McCallister. Ben was a friend to Meg, whom she may have crushed into, while the three of them are Meg's roommates. Cody began to know those people, in the process in knowing the true reason for Meg death. Alice and Richard has always been so kind to her, and Harry, though he's someone who do not speaks much but he helped, mostly in solving the encrypted messages from Meg's computer.

And well, this is why i love Harry Kang. 

And there's Ben, who accompanied Cody to find All_BS -  the one who may, encouraged Meg into her suicidal mission.

Ben and Cody wasn't in a good term at first, but as she sort-of-eulogized for Meg in Meg's campus, they began to understand each other - or perhaps tolerate each other. But along the trip, they do started to understands each other - for the "complicated and confused in a wholly fucked-up way" as Cody put it. 

I enjoy reading this book, it is a worth of reading. I love to see how the relationship between characters in this book grow - from strangers to friends, from a mother who may not have been a mother to her daughter in her 20 years old life but then suddenly become one, and maybe there's more to that. Also, it teaches you that no one is as what you expected them to be, or no one is as much as you have known who they are really is within years - that's Meg and Cody especially. And the quote, the life saying, is just amazing. Especially to this one, who told you about forgiveness.

 And in that moment, I was reminded just why God want us to forgive. Not simply because its the key to a better world, but because of what it does for ourselves.

I laugh, I shed tears, I'm in awe, I'm curious and all the emotions i got blend too well while reading I Was Here. This book teaches us how to handle grief, to handle pain and depression, to know that suicide does not resolves it all It teaches us life, how to go on after you losses someone, how to forgive, and know that it wasn't always you at fault. It is beautifully written by Gayle Forman, who's previous works is If I Stay. And i must to say, this is so much better than If I Stay, honestly.