Sunday, March 5, 2017

A letter to you.

Dear you, 

You have go through so much - so much of pain, of the hurting, of the broken heart, being back-stabbed, being lied to, being ignored and unwanted, and all the worst things that ever happened to you, you have go through and done for so much already. I know its sucks, its so painful that all you ever wanted is to forget everything that you wished you be involved in any kind of accidents and makes you forgot everything. I know those horrible thoughts of hurting yourself, of not wanting to be outside and meet people, and just there, sitting in your bedroom and feeling nothing - i know it all. I know its hard, it is so hard that you even kept this to yourself for a long time til its finally have eaten you. I know that you want to be alone, because you barely speaks up to everyone anymore, even your friends - because you usually the most active and talkative in your group conversation, but not anymore. And you hated the most when people ask whether you are okay or not, because you don't feel like answering them, telling them lie that you are okay because the truth is you are not. You are not. You are not okay. NOT-OKAY. So whenever someone asked you, you just ignored them. 

Its already hard enough of being not okay, of not being yourself. I know you misses you, you miss the old you - happy, hyper, louder, full of joy, loves to laugh, strong and everything, because i miss you too. And its hard to see you being like that anymore, you let yourself be succumb into your own wounds, darkness, into you own oblivion that you've changed - so much. And i hate seeing you like this, i hate seeing you hurting, because i can feel it too.

I know that people told you to be strong, to let time heals when all you ever wanted now is for it to be gone now, because you just cant take it anymore. I know people told you to go outside, meet new people, have fun, live your life - but you are already scare wondering if the same thing would happen again, and that you be hurt again, so you just wrap yourself in your blanket and be asleep the whole day. No matter what people told you to do, you just don't listen, anymore.

I don't know what else to say to make you feel alright, feel better and be okay, be happy, be you. But you are never alone, and you are never weak. You just have to hold on, be strong. Get up again, and again, and again when you all feel is giving up. Because i believe at some point, all the pain will go away without you realizing it. Just don't give up, have faith and trust everything will be okay someday. As what you believe in, in order to find own happiness, you need to find it within you and not with somebody else. So that's what you are going to do. Hold on, don't give up, be strong, find your own happiness, and yourself. Because that is what i am going to do, and i need you to work with me, so we can be together again - one mind, one heart, one soul, in a single body. Because i am you, and you are me.


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