Friday, October 9, 2015

Confession of the heart - save me.

Hi dear blog.

Its been awhile. I never have the time, or idea on what to write here. But i guess i need to break through that. I need to write. I need to let go. 

Its only been like a month that my semester has started, but it feels like its been a year with all the assignments and the works that needed to be completed. I am seriously exhausted - exhausted in staying up late at night only to finish all the works, tired of not being able to sleep at all, and whats worst is this dark circle around my eyes for not having much sleep. 

It is because it the final year that students get too much of work loads to be done? Because as i remember my Diploma years, final semester ain't this busy. But i guess its different, the Diploma and Degree years - different indeed. For example, this whole year i need to prepare for my thesis proposal and then starts to process the data and progress the model of my thesis project. I don't know whether i am able to finish it within this one whole year, because i know myself. I'm not this super hardworking person and all that, i cant even do works during day time because i always feel sleepy during the day compared to the night. But then, if i stay up late night, i would get another dark circle till my eyes would look like panda's eyes. Then i have this one subject, that all the work progress must be recorded and be submitted along with the report. Let me say this again - WORK PROGRESS MUST BE RECORDED AND BE SUBMITTED WITH THE REPORT. Hehh.

I missed my long and beauty sleep, for that I have been called as Sleeping Beauty. Why? Because i can sleep for 18hours max - and sometimes more. But now all i get is 2-4 hours of sleep, a day, for almost everyday, every weeks, every months. Okay i'm exaggerating, its only been a month though. But even so, only in a month, that my semester started, i already have less time to sleep. I wonder what would happened at the end of the semester. Can i even had a sleep at all?

And also, i miss my large and big appetite. I usually eat for at least 3 times a day, or normally 4 times a day before and i ate heavily. But now, i can only eat twice a day, or only having meals for lunch and thats all what i needed to survive in a day. Now i feel thinner, and feels like i needed few more new jeans since the jeans i had doesn't fit on me any more - at least not without the belt.

Maybe i am homesick. Maybe i just misses my mom, dad, friends. Maybe i am too stressed that i hardly can manage myself. Maybe i am too busy in completing my works. Maybe i need to get out, and loosen myself from the stressful life. Sadly, maybe, i don't even have time for that.

So anyone, could you save me?

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